tumbleweedsandthyme

Dance while you have the chance

These are a pair of my Flip Flops.

Life has flip flopped this week fo r my dear Arnie.  Waking to no blood flow to one ofhis legs meant a long extensive surgery to attemt to restore the leg to life. Surgery a success to keep his leg,  but many complications have happened since that day (Tuesday).

Yesterday he suffered a heart attack, most likely a result that the surgery was just too long and too much for his worn out body.  The option for catherization to find the problem, and other invasive testing are too high risk for his situation at this time.  Heart surgery is out of the question if the problem were found...would never survive the surgery at this time.

Life is uncertain...we wait for what shall be.

His life is fragile (my life is turned upside down)  BUT we continue to believe that each day he gets through there is hope to wake to another.

Please hold us in good thought, in prayer or with positive energy to surround us.  I have no intention of giving in to despair or givig up on my faith that miracles do happen and as long as there is life there is hope. I refuse to allow the fat lady to sing!

And please

 GOD BLESS MY ARNIE!

Fence and frustration

Rain puts a crimp in my plans for today but Mother Nature doesn't seem to care I needed this day to complete and cross off the many chores on my today list at work today. Oh well, I'm home unless the sun peaks out, doubtful it will however.  Rain is good, the earth needs it (reminder to self to go with flow of life and acept the things you cannot change or control).

Well, I have a new fence up on side of coop. A small extension of coop which gives me more display area. I like it, let me know what you think? Click on pictures to see larger version.

  Throwing this in here...I'm not too happy about changes made to Typepad. Why is it that when things are good everyone thinks we need change? I don't have an option to size my pictures the size I want them to be??? I don't have the patience or time to reprogram myself and figure out how to do all this when it used to be "just do it" finally having learned it as habit.

I've had enough negative changes in my life to last me a lifetime, guess I'll add this to the list and go see what Blogger has to offer AND its free! Shoot!  

O I'm over the mood to post here now and I did look forward ot this quiet time of reflection. Maybe I'll do it later (so I can get frustrated again thank you very much typepad, NOT!)  

Just a few more pictures quickly and I'll post it see if they show up at all at this small useless size for viewing. Who wants to always being clicking back and forth to enlage when you read a blog? NOT ME!

Foxgloves, don't you love 'em. I do. Just bend down there and pinch off those two yellowing leaves will ya?

A mossed planter,And at small green feeder, I'd put that in my garden. a small Jasmine, the heavenly sweet scent is intoxicating.

 A whimsical flower that forever blooms. Made of tin , a bit cutsy but I like these.  A couple others below.

 

an old thin tall cinder block with narrow hols gets dug up out of the ground, cleaned up and planted.  Pots they do becoming boring in a garden so I'm alwys looking to think outside the pot.

 A hanging basket of million bells and licorice plant and an African daisy in it too.

a blue glazed strawberry pot.

Just a shoot with the camera. I like that oval bird dish. nice on the ground for birds that prefer to graze from the ground, good on a table, and comes in a different shape too. Oh you know I like those spheres!

A DAYS END SHOT! he sun sets and its time to  call it a day and go home.

I haven;t taken you inside yet now have I Well next time. I need to clean a bit before you come to visit (smile). Sorry if I sounded not to happy, but I wasn;ttoohappy to wake to rain when I had my day planned before I even opened my eyes and it fell apart uponwaking. And I guess I will never be one ofthose people who likes technical progress, I find it only a nuisance of wasting my time to figure it out. My comfort levels in life are few and Typepad WAS one of those comfort zones until this morning when its all ....upside down, inside out, twisted into knot ...Gee sounds like my life the past 8 years :-).

All for now friends, I'll be back and be a little more upbeat next time, I promise!

May life bring you overflowing blessings and overflowing baskets of pretty flowers too.

Plant seeds of kindness, they always Grow. ...as shall I into this new format (sigh)

Carolyn

And when the flowers bloom...so do I

first things first... my eye surgery was a success to lift the eyeball, yet I still struggle to see...the healing road has not been easy and in time I hope to be able to have regained good sight...we shall see (no pun intended :-) Still doctoring with it and still hoping for better vision and to be able to focus my eyes better, both at the same timewould be nice. Thank you for all the notes sent, the prayers and the good wishes. Meant so much to me to be kept tucked closely in so many thoughts and prayers. Using the computer is a challenge these days as the light on the screen makes my eye tear...sunglasses are now a part of even my evening attire... ECK I could scream so let me change the subject to happy matters of the heart..............................................................

I'm back to work!!! and loving my days Want to see it in pictures?

I can't look through the camera lense well anymore, so these were shot my holding the camera up in front of myface and hopingI was gettng a shot,  and borrowing an angels wing to shoot them. Enjoy..I sure have enjoyed the new season thus far of hard work, yet joy of fixing and creating. Its ood to see old friends from lasyear, repeat customers who are faithful to Stoney's. I can't ever get enough done, so much more I have within I want to do to make it a successful season...if only I had a cot in the coop I could start at 5AM when the rooster crows. haha.

Oh and on a sad note, my dear Henny was killed by a mean dang fox! I miss her greeting me in the morning. I miss her laying her egg daily in Carolyn's Coop. I miss her coming  to me for treats out of my pocket. Her friend, Chicken Little, is still with us and I am befriending her, though she can't replace the love I felt for dear Henny. Poor little Henny..rest ye chicken, in peace and know you were so loved and are missed.

courtyard in front of the coop.

Tables of herbs line both sides of this area. Look at those gorgegous lavenders, bottom right hand corner on round table and on the ground.

Calendula, on a vintage garden round tiered rack, It is the herb of the year for 2008. Buy it and use the petals of the flowers on the top of your salad.

i love the old chairs made new with COLOR!

A door off a vintage piece of rotted furniture, salvaged and painted to become a chalkboard for daily messages.

  wrought iron planter I mossed and planted that sits on a stand. The perfect garden bench behind it. I'd love that bench in my own garden at home.

A piece of garden art.

The door to the coop is open but the pictures I took of inside are all fuzzy. Next post we will go inside together so you can peak at all the new goodies that are in there.

This angel is missing her wing. She keeps vigil over  the herbs and carries Thyme in her arms, Her tag now reads "Please pardon my appearance. I've lent my wing to someone in need of it more than me." I like to think she has lent it to dear Corey of Tongue and Cheek as she grieves the loss of her beloved father. Bless you dear Corey and family.

Flowers

Flowers

Flowers everywhere

I've planted this mandevilla in a large pot to begin its climb up a  wonderful round tall obelisk.

AND AS THE FLOWERS BLOOM SO DO I.

I'll post pictures of inside the coop as soon as I can, so come back soon. Thanks for visiting me here and for your patience while I was gone for so long while recovering.  I hope you will leave me a comment so I know you were here. I'll try to respond to them all but for now I must limit my time on the computer. There is much for me to envision and to create to make the world a prettier place each day for others. If I don't respond immediately its because I am resting my eyes after a long happy day of using them, but I do appreciate hearing from you.

Plant a garden, feed a bird, fill a picnic basket, bring a friend, and sit in my colored chairs and enjoy lunch together.

Until next time, Happy Spring to you!

Count backwards from 10

This is Blue Eyed Grass. When you look down on this little flower you will see two litle black dots that appear to be two eyes looking back at you, hence its name. It always makes me smile, blooming when spring is on her way and again throughout the summer.

Thank you dear Fran of Sacred Ordinary for checking up on me, and Joan in Huntsville (nice to see you peaking in on me at my blog Joan :-) and also for encouraging me to post at Tumbleweeds and Thyme.  I've found it difficult to find words to put to the page the past weeks...with a journey of nine months coming near to an end, but not without an abundance of stress attached to the final step.

If you read me regularly or are "friend" you know that I suffer from Graves disease and you know that I have a serious problem with my eyes related to this disease. On Monday, the 31sr at 1:00 I have a date with my surgeon who specializes in reconstructive surgery of the eyes, for Graves. I'll meet him in the operating room. He'll say count backwards from 10, (I'll get only to 9) and for a couple of hours, my body, my mind and my soul with be in a state of deep sleep, an unawareness of life as I know it, a couple hours missed out of this precious life, a total rest from my weariness (the past month has taken its toll on me) as I undergo surgery, FINALLY, on my right eye.

I'll wake and wish, for one second. that I could go back, to that total feeling of serenity, (in the past that has been my feeling from waking from general anesthesia), and then I will close my eyes for just a minute before I listen to instruction, "time to wake up now Carolyn, you're all finished." You see, I deliberately take that brief moment, because inside of me I realize, I'm alive, I'm safe, and I'm now on the oher side of this journey, and the top of the hill I have climbed is a wonderful place to have reached.  I need just a moment...this moment I take purposely...a moment alone, a gratitude moment, to give thanks to God, to my surgeon, my family who have lived this with me, and to two very special people who made my having this surgery a posibility, and to the angels that walked with me through lavender fields as I slept (it's been my experience in the past that I always walk barefoot through lavender fields while undergoing surgery and others are with me, I feel their presence though I can't see them). I'm almost certain that two of these angels are named Flossie, and Pete, AKA Mom and Dad.  

I am a woman of faith, and I have every faith in my surgeon's abillty, so there is not fear I carry with me as I face this day, like I carried the last time. I've been here before, 11 years ago, same wonderful, talented, surgeon Dr Matthew Mitsch, who restored my eyes. Then, it was both eyes affected, this time, this relapse of Graves,  it is only one eye affected, a small blessing, one I count indeed.

I've felt a bit alone walking my long drawn out journey this time. Last time my Arnie was well (before his misadventure in an operating room, with a not so talented surgeon), and he was there for me through it all. This time I walked across the sunflower fields at work to go to my drs office for my visits, and always, as hard as I damn well tried,  crept into my mind the aloneness, something else taken that can't be gotten back.

I was happy Arnie offered of himself to me, to go along Monday if I wanted him too. NO, as it would only mean work to get him out the door with me on time, take the wheelchair apart twice to load it in the car. I'll kiss him goodbye when I leave, and he'll kiss me hello when I get back home. The offering was important to me though, and appreciated.

SO, I'll have a full week of recovery time..not easy for me at this time of year, but so grateful that this is actually happening before Stoney's open. as long as my healing goes as planned I should be able to go back to work in time for "my pretties" to arrive before we open! YEAH!!!!!

I've kept busy, painted some old adirondack chairs bright summery colors, each one different and bright and cheery. I've been working hard the past many days, cleaning up and preparing the store for opening, all of which I would have been doing while I will be recovering instead. I haven't worked on setting up my coop yet, but that time will come to me...maybe be able to do some of that Saturday even, if all I have planned to finish gets finsihed tomorrow. I have so many wonderful new things to go in there and to dress the outside up with too. I'm excited, and I can't wait to get my hands dirty!

Spring, she always packs some promise in her suitcase when planning her arrival, and this year spring is gifting me with being able to return to work this season with both eyes to see out of! Hallelujah, AMEN..I imagine how grandiose the world is going to look to me once again. I have very poor vision in my left eye. so it taint been easy with only that eye to depend on for this long while. BUT SOON..two eyes to see you with my dear, to see the zinnia field when it begins to bloom, two eyes to see all those beautiful flowers and herbs that soon arrive...two eyes to decorate up Carolyn's Coop, two eyes to greet my customers with and wish them a Happy Spring, two eyes to look at the faces of my family again.

Please if you will, think of me on Monday, send off a little good energy, tuck me in a prayer, blow a wish into the wind, whatever it is that you do as your own way to connect us and Universe.

I have met some genuine "good people" via the internet and my blog, and made some friendships that are important to me. I will ask Arnie to post a comment to this blog post, late Monday evening or Tuesday morning,  so that those of you who do stop by and leave me comments regularly will know I'm fine, since I won't be up to doing so :-)

This is the last time I will be posting here as a pirate, Imagine that! and that alone says this is all good in my life..I will not miss this black patch. I will not miss walking with my brotger (who is blind in one eye since birth) and us forgetting to get on the correct side of each other and banging into one another:-). He is here with me, visiting us again. As usual when my heart is heavy or I'm going through something like this he is there to hold his little sisters hand. I love you Bobby. I've put in my request for [ork egg foo yong immediately when I get home, not sopping in gravy and HOT...its soft I will manage to be able to eat a small amount of that, and its what I rememeber I enjoyed eating the last time, then went to sleep for hours on end afterwards.

Thank you for stopping by, thank you for your good thoughts and/or prayers on Monday, and thank you for your patience with me for mot posting much this winter. I hope to post lots f pictures thorughout dpring and summer of all the interesting things I do at Stoneys.

My own garden again takes a backseat this year, but its OK it really is...Its cleaned up and things are popping up all over...I gave it a bit of TLC early on in Jan/FEb but haven;t been back to it again...that too will come in my life but for now I think of all the pretties at Stoneys as my own big garden to tend, with LOVING hands, and JOY in this heart of mine.

Pictures of my coop for Spring as soon as I get it set up...will be soon! can't wait!

One of my dreams in this life is to walk a lavender field of french lavender, in FRANCE.  Perhaps with my baby bird some day :-) Corey I think of you every day as you walk your journey with your dear dad. (God bless YOU).

10, 9, out of here!

See you soon...with both eyes smilin!

Create, it's fun and good for the spirit

"Faith and worry can't be in the same room, one has to leave."

I've spent alot of the winter with worry and so today I kicked it to the side, stepped over it and had a playday. I did some altered art on my kitchen table though you might think I worked on the floor with all the mess I still  have to sweep up! Little bits of this, little bits of that..and maybe this is why I don't play often with paper and scissors anymore:-)

I just needed to do something out of hte ordinary of my days, get my mind off some stressful things that are in my life at present, so I created these altered art tags and I'll use them on gift baskets at work, or as bookmarks. or for whatever. It was fun! They aren't quite finished yet will get another coat, and get a string or a charm, or a bead.

Borage is an herb I particularly like so this one was made with that thought in mind.

You know where  my thouht are these days..in the garden, only its been to cold to get out there much!  I'm looking forward to returning to work and the new season ahead of us. Can't wait to do my coop for Spring and for all the pretties to arrive. Won't be long now..my mind is on overload of all I want to do. In my dreams I;m at my pottong table, potted herbs and flowers that others might love them, buy them and enjoy them. Summer it's my time of year, my favorite of all the seasons

God bless me with the health to be ten people, and each of those ten worthy of "good" things to come from me. 

PS I saw the first Robin Redbreast yesterday searching worms in my garden after the rain. And this morning my daffodils have bloomed, though they looked chilly when I walked outside to say hello to them. Spring is packing her suitcase...she'll arrive soon!

celebrating...at just the right speed

Thursday I will again open the novel " This Womans' Life" and turn the page. The chapter will be stark, pure white, crisp clean pages, waiting to be written. Only the chapter title will be present, double digits, numbers matching. I have the thought I will see these numbers often this year on the highway. They will hit my vision and each time be a reminder of my age, I will become the common speed limit in years, tomorrow! ...years of loving, years of wondering, years of growing, years of gaining...and some years of loss in between, sigh. But even those years are important to my growth for they are the compost of my life that makes me grow healthy in spirit, and those losses taught me the true meaning of gratitude and forgivness. I would share my life with anyone, but I would not give it away or trade it for another, for THIS IS MY LIFE! and its one incredible journey, and all mine!  AH yes,  Birthdays come once a year, even to me!

I should have pulled out my camera and taken pictures of the stained glass windows on one wall, or the colorful bottles that lined a full length shelf at the ceiling edge. I should have taken out my camera and taken a picture of the adorable/sweet and competent waitress who was our server. I should have taken out my camera and taken a picture of the lobster stuffed spinach ravioli laying in a pool of lemon wine sauce, topped with herbs and shrimp that sat in front of me, or the plate of SImply Salmon topped with asparagus spears buried under a generous amount of dicey tomatoes with the scent of herbs releasing across the table, that another of us had in front of her. I should have taken a picture of the large plate that the sweet adorable kind server carried to the table. In the center of it a large piece of chocolate cake, warm and smothered in melted chocolate, that made the whipped cream rossettes dance on the plate as they floated in the overflow of rich dark sweetness. Or our three hands that each took one of the three spoons that surrounded this sin as L nibbled a tiny taste of it, M enjoyed a bit, and me I devoured! Well, a girl has to eat all her cake to have her wish come true!  I should have let you see me blow out my candle and try to guess my wish...but you never would be able to guess it as I didn't make a wish for me but rather for one of the two friends that were with me instead. Neither one of them even knew this so how could you guess what it was? I sure can;t even tell this one friend as I want my wish to come true for her. 

BUT all I have is this...when I reached for my purse to leave, and a red light went off inside this head blinking CAMERA INSIDE PURSE, CAMERA INSIDE PURSE, TAKE PICTURES! Gasping with the thought DARN IT,  I said to my two special friends, "I should have..."

And then I did..so heres all you get!

L invited me out to dinner for my birthday, and she asked M another close friend of mine to join us. We met at my house and all went together. Deciding on Macorni Grill at Town Center, relaxed, good food always, and good company I knew it would be a special night.,,IT WAS.

How special is it when L, who is your boss, but has become a special friend to me outside of work, grabs a crayon and decorates the paper  table cloth with Happy Birthday (writing it upside down for her so it faces me, but hey she was a 1st grade teacher for years and has had lots of practice with writing upside down :-)

Then M, who bakes herself and others happy through life, (she makes the best cinnamon sticky buns in this entire world!) draws me a cake also upside down from her prospective. We doodled a bit while we chatted and were waiting for our salad to arrive, all in between taking bites of a warm loaf of Rosemary bread, dipping it in olive oil and pepper. We talked about everything and anything we felt like talking about and alrhough we didn't solve the problems of the world as men sometimes to tend to think they can do when talking (what do they know anyway? hahah! ) but, we meshed and bonded and enjoyed one another's company. We were/are all past the middle of our life, with too much more to accomplish to think about that issue. We were/are all mother's, who spoke of their children, ME sometimes to much I felt of my daugher and sometimes I wanted to shove my words back into my mouth and one time told myself stop talking about her!  but I am feeling sensitive to her being so far away from me, (its nothing more than the last baby bird leaving the nest snydrome, and missing her, BUT also enjoying watching from a distance her flight:-) and I won't see her on my birthday this year nor did I have her near for my last birthday..She was in Israel last year on my birthday, excuse acceptable haha. We were/are, all 3 of us, hard workers who value everything we have in life knowing we earn it. We share a mutal interest in creativity and we each are giving people which makes us relate to one another. We didn't feel rushed out of there, we took our time and enjoyed, the food and even more the friendshiip that is a gift to us in this life that we share as three women friends.. I overate but it was sooooo good!

And here's the messy plate after sinful indulgence.

And to top the night off L orders "to take with" lobster ravoili to bring home to my Arnie. How thoughtful and sweet was that of her to do? But it's who she is, and I had the pleasure of hearing him hum through them as he ate and savored eat delicate bite, he enjoyed it so much. 

I got home just in time to kiss and hug middle son goodbye with duffle bag over his shoulder on his way to airport to head to St Martin for holiday. I wish him sun and fun and just be safe! This is my first birthday since his birth that he won't be here for my day either (excuse acceptable haha), but life moves ahead as your children grow into the people they were designed to be, by you, by God, by Universe, by circumstance. I am lucky to be the mother of my children. I see them as perfect yet I know they are far from perfection and as normal as any other children are in this world. They love me and they hurt me sometimes, I love them and hurt them sometimes too I am sure, but we always get through it as life happens and its how it should be, normal! Me/They/We are normal. We are a family who allows one another to disappoint on occasion and we toss it away into the air and never choose to carry it with us to destroy the blessing we have in each other.   

(picture M sitting L standing)

Thank you L for making last night possible and M and L I thank you both for all the things in life we do as friends and share together. I have known M for as long as I can remember, She is a childhood friend of my husband, they grew up in the same town as did M's husband grow up with them. It was a visit to see M for a weekend that landed  us to move here to Va. Beach. For that I will always be grateful, I love where I live! M and I will always be friends...she has wrapped me more than once in her terrycloth bathrobe when I have been sick, held her hand under a spoonful and another and another of hot handmade soup and said, open, sip, you must... when I was too weak to do it on my own, wiping the sweat from my brow with a cool cloth in her other hand at the same time(thats a friend!). And she would do so again and again again if I ever needed her for anything, as would I for her. We share alot of laughter together.

L has given me "opportunity". She simply placed it right there in front of my face, without any words, just handed it to me and let me be with it. She allowed me to run with it and silently because of the admiration I have for what I see in her as a person, she encourages to run faster and stronger and most importantly she beleives in me, and trust the direction I am heading, usually. She always makes me feel appreciated, I appreciate that she is the heart and soul, the very backbone of Stoney's where I work.  That wonderful place was a thought she had, and desire was her will to nurture that creation, turning it into what it is today through hard work and perserverance.  She lets me work, and play:-) and grow there, and being her "my flower lady" (I love when she calls me that to people!)  all has changed my life/arnies life/my childrens life for the better. I have a deep respect for whom L is as my boss, and I have a grateful appreciation for the friendship we have grown outside of our working relationship. And sometimes there are those little surprises, when she says, "field trip day tomorrow, you and me!"  Always fun to go with Lynn on a field trip. We go here or there for mostly work related things but then there is that stop at Trader Joes or a farmhouse filled with antiques for sale, or somewhere else we pass on the way back. We look at each other, drop our jaw in wonder as to if we should... she does a U turn with a smile knowing we must stop just because it may be somewhere we have to see. It usually is!

Both these women inspire my life and I'm proud and humbled to have them call me friend. I have learned much from both of them, they have brought much to my life each in different ways.  I love you L, I love you M, and thanks for making the speed limit of my life seem just right last night... but watch out I have a heavy foot and intend to this year go full speed ahead to get there..wherever that is that I am going. If I knew my destination it would take away from the joy of the journey... once you arrive you are there! I always want to be headed somewhere even better! Anticipation is everything. 100 miles an hour always to where I feel I need to get..as I turn 55. As I open the book to the blank chapter waiting for me to write the pages, its a wonderful feeling to look at my life and to wonder and to reach out for the "yet" of all there is for me to make happen.

Its going to be a good year because it started out just perfect last night. True, a bit of bottleneck traffic lies ahead for me with my eye and facing surgeries that will hopefully correct it, but the day will come that I can see clearly again, I do beleive that!  ..although clearly I see today with both eyes (though one remains black patched), no double vision, no ghost vision just the straight forward vision that friendship in my life is something I cherish, value and honor, and never take for granted.

Thank you L and M for loving me, and for overlooking my flaws and faults.

Carolyn

 

   

.....

Posies and my pen

Even in the middle of winter there is pleasure in the garden to see. The simpliest bouguet, of herbs and one delicate viola with a pretty face, picked, put into a posie vase, and placed on the corner of the sink, is my reward after cleaning the downstairs bathroom this morning.  For me it is the personal trimmngs in my house that makes me able to call it HOME.

While in the garden I noticed that my daffodils are peaking thorugh the earth to say hello. They are already about 2 inches revealed. I touched them gently and said, "good job, but slow down a little, don't rush, there is much cold ahead to come."

I want to thank all the newcomers to my blog. I haven't had time to write to you personally, yet, but I will.  Kacey, I did think of you when I picked my viola and wondered if you got that pot of pansies for yourself.

Yesterday I was in a home "box" store to get a little part for an old wagon wheel so the wagon can continue to safely carry plants this year for customers. AS you know I am big on restoring the old rather than quick to discard. Whie I was there of course my muse dragged me through the greenhouse door, saying, "you know you want to look, come one, come on, come with me, just look"...I reluctantly let her drag me, and as soon as through the door I left her in the dust to hurry to see the hundreds of primroses, blooming in every color...I looked...at every single one of them!...pictured 5 of them in this great basket I have at home...told myself NO! My orchid will soon be in bloom, I can wait...CAN'T I? OH those tulips, forced,  looked very pretty too :-)   

Yes I can wait. My birthday is the last day of this month and for my special day, I will go to nursery greenhouse (I support the independents whenever possible, I want them to hang around) and for my winter birthday I usually treat myself to something of spring that is alive and well and makes me feel itchy, itchy for spring to arrive.

But you don't have to wait until my birthday...treat yourself today to some fresh flowers, or a spring flowering plant for your home. What you choose will uplift..what you leave there behind will be thought of and warm you too.

Its a dreary raining day her in Va. Beach today, however its exactly the kind of day I need. Deadlines...I'm under pressure and need no sunshine to distract my energy from the page. Thank you mother nature for the gift of a rainy day.  As some of you know I write a column for a magazine and my deadline is fast approching. This issue is of course about love given that Valentines Day is sneaking up on us. I'm seasoned with love :-)  after all these years of making a marriage work and keeping it strong and healthy. I can write this, no problem. all I needed was to glance over at my Arnie, accept his returned smile that without words says "I love you",  and my mind began to run with ideas. I always begin by doodling my thoughts aorund in a circle on a large art tablet size piece of paper. WHy? because a circle has no holes in it and everything runs in the same direction once it figures out what direction it is to head.

I went to bed with all kinds of pieces of love floating around in my brain. I couldn't shut off my thoughts, so I got up and wrote and wrote and wrote. Now I have to revise, take out the access, add in what I left out that I still want to say..edit...take a deep breath and kiss it, say a little prayer its liked by my readers, and get it off to my editor. Deadlines...I cringe at the thought of them...but I also have learned I thrive on them.

Wish me words today that gel...thick and rich like the broth of a good hearty pot of chicken soup when placed in the fridge cool to be able to render off any unnessaery fat. When you take the lid off and see that richness you have suceeded in making with a few good ingredients umm it's gonna be good.  Let my words be as delicious and warm when tasted by the tongue of my readers.

And me, in return, I will wish you love.

And would you look at this below! I went to the garden to fill an empty birdfeeder with some some seed, because that little birdy kept coming back and sitting in the tree looking at me.

                                                                                                                        

One little blooming stalk of lavender in my winter garden, bedded with pine needles for the chilly sleeping months. Lavender for love..its a good sign! Sent from Mother Nature to me today.

Until next time...................

   

Adding color to my life

This time of year I do a lot of thinking about color.

I dream about what the flower lot will look like come April at Stoney's.

I actually plan it out in my head, picturing where I will put this, and that, and the other... I ponder variety and colors of plants. Doing so adds color to my life during these months of the barren winter-scape 

Soon I'll plan it out on paper so when trucks arrive its easy to unload and know where everything should go...making for a good presentation, and precious consideration of the plants needs; sun or partial sun, shade or partial shade is definately a necessity. My springtime seems so far away though she's always tucked in my heart.

Our morning coffee mugs are all different colors. I chose the one I will use by whatever mood I'm in when I wake up. If I'm feeling kinda sluggish about starting my day, I chose the bright mustard yellow one.   It's as though it adds sunshine to my life immediately and perks me right up, (its actually my favorite). If I'm in an earthy mood I choose the sage green one. If I want a laid back day I'll drink from the (rather dull shade) blue one..it doesn't shout anything about color to me, doesn't care if I stay in my pajamas all day long, it just holds hot coffee. In a big hurry to have that cuppa, having given no thought t6 my mood when I reach for a cup, I just grab for the vanilla color one, b-o-r-i-n-g.  But I never...never reach for the brown one...its depressing!

I really do believe how you embrace your day from the minute you wake up makes a difference in how the day will turn out.

I literally can't get up on the wrong side of the bed :-)because its rare I sleep in my bed upstairs. I sleep on a couch in Arnie's room downstairs, where he sleeps in his hospital bed, (simply because its easiest for him to have some mechanical help of his bed) and simply so I can hear him if he needs to wake me to help him during the night. Yadowhatyougottado. I do however on occasion climb back under my covers for ten more minutes and start the day over if I find it has started out of sorts. I think of this as "starting anew." It is a power we have... to change our mood if we are willing to recognize we wish the change be made.

I'm really strange about color in my life. I like it some places and dislike it other places. I love color in my garden, evry shade of green, white pink and purple, and I always have a potted "something" in bright yellow: calendula, a margarita daisy, a small hybrid sunflower, but not to fond of marigolds unless they are Janie Brights. Anyway a pot of yellow to shine on a cloudy day is how I see yellow in a garden. Nothing so pretty as  a yellow day lily at her peak...takes me back 20 or so years:-) I'm not real fussy about what colors go in my garden with what because its a hodgepodge of colors, full of perennials and herbs mixed, coexisting nicely together. I'm not fond of orange flowers )except naturalized day lillies, and I do grow milkweed for the butterflys of course, and come to think of it I loved the tithonia that grew 8 ft tall one year and was covered with tiny orange sunflowers all over its many branches. I'm not so anal that I pull out something before it has has time to bloom in its all its glory just because its orange, and especially if its something that came to my garden as a volunteer. If carried by the wind and landed,or dropped by a bird and grew, it was meant to be given to me. One of those miracles that we sometimes forget to appreciate.

My garden is not what an English Cottage garden might be, its not quite tailored enough for that look, but its my version of American Cottage Gardening...key word MY :-) Actually its gone south with all the work I do away from home but my coop was my top priority this year, compromise, its a good thing! I'm trying hard to take advantage of this mild winter and reclaim my garden bring it back to me in apppearance and grattiude of it. I can do both, have a beautiful garden to come home too after having a beauiful day at work with all my pretties and making everything look pretty there too. I NEED both and am blessed to desire both.

If I could give every gardener a gift it would be the courage to plant their garden for themselves! Create a garden to their own liking, for their comfort zone, making it a sacred place of contentment and peace. Not do it for what the neighbors will think, or for strictly curb appeal..do it for you, your way. I think its why so many people fail to enjoy the art of gardening. They try too hard to please others, or do what someone is doing, and hence their own personal pleasure of the process gets squashed and they give up.  Or after all is said and done their garden has this lack of ...lack of inspiration, because they didn't allow their self to be inspired when doing it. They copied a picture from a book or magazine, bought the plants in the lay out and did it...boring!

Everyone has a creative eye, (notice I didn't say green thumb, we'd all look pretty silly with green thumbs) no its in the eye, it has nothing to do with the thumb, didn't you know? Trust me you only need one to see :-). one heart to overflow, and one soul to open up to create a garden that satisfies and soothes. That said maybe I should do a short daily inspiration on creating a garden for you, anmd other gardening tidbits  here at tumbleweedsandthyme. Yes? No?

Back to color and my weirdness about it. As much as I like color outside I like light walls in my house...my house is to small, and most rooms run together, to have too many colors going on..and I like to change colors by things of the seasons. Speaking of color on the walls, its one of my goals to paint the lower level of my house this winter..will I get to that project? (questioning to reinforce my desire and willingness to just DO IT! Its a major undertaking but one that would make me happy and leave me feeling refreshed.

Color when I eat...I enjoy lots of color as in food on the plate and I actually have an inner sense of color when I plan a meal. There has to be colors that make the presentation worth the effort of the task, and I enjoy making food look pretty as well as taste good. BUT, when it comes to what I eat off of, I need PLAIN! Plain white plates, or plain clear glass suits my inner sanctum.

I like the food to be the presentation not the dinnerware and I like simplistic. A natural arrangement of flowers or fresh veggies in the center of table can brighten the table structure. I don't appreciate busy under my food. Oh I like lots of pretty dishes to look a, I just don't find I like to eat off of them. I know I'm weird about that sort of thing but it is who I am.

I've always been a little quirky about clothes and the feel of them. As a child I put my socks on three times before they felt perfect with that line thing across the toe. I have a duaghter that as a young child did the same thing and I patiently let her do it, never said a word, because I knew why she had to do it! :-)

But again I lost my way..back to color...I don't intentionally do this but I wear alot of neutral colors, I LIKE black, I wear black.  I also tend to lean towards browns and beige's and sagey greens. I don't wear busy clothes as in prints (unless they are tiny prints) because I'm so short. In summer I love white 100% cool cotton, ironed to a crisp look and then wrinkled naturally as soon as it goes on. Or, I like gauze, cool comfortable lightweight gauze.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 BUt                                     But there is this someone in my life that I love,

and she's always pushing me to brighten up!

She loves color

She can wear lime green with purple and look cute. This picture of her was snapped at Ikea when she and her housemates did some home shopping for their house. She caught sight of all this color and embraced it immediately by walking up to it and putting her arms out. When she turned around like this, someone took her picture. I'm not real sure about the hair this day or the outfit :-) but I do know when I saw this picture I loved IT because I so enjoy how she loves color and I knew exactly what it was about! COLOR!

So I bought a few summer dresses recently for work this next season...and watch out they are colorful. I heard her voice in my head saying "mama you need to add color to your life." Its what she always says to me when I pull something black out from a rack. She saw them in my closet when she was home and she said, "Wow, I'm proud of you mama, COLOR!"

The truth is she adds so much color to my life! She is all the colors of a rainbow to me. I know as a mother I have taught her much, some she will use, some she will discard. But does she know as a daughter how much she has taught me? We continue to grow with and through each other..though our relationship has changed some now she is far away we still have a loving bond that holds us together as mother/daughter/friends. She may well be the best thing I ever grew in my entire life!

She makes me laugh often, she makes me cry once in a great while, she embraces life and she wears color without reservation. It was soooo good to have time with her and last night she headed back to her "home", and school. We did a day out together before she left, Indian Food for lunch, a pleasant stroll through the Fresh Market for some specialty food items for her to take back with her, a quick stop at Bombay (sadly going out of business), and to the bookstore, whereelse. Its always hard for me when she leaves, I need three hugs at least before she makes it out the door, and then I miss her terribly but ... I'm also so glad that she likes her life and she looks forwarding to returning to where she knows as home now...but I also hope she will always carry with her our love, and that she thinks of here as a good place to come home too.

I miss you my baby bird.XOX      

Tucking away one...looking ahead to another

New Years Eve 2008

When I feel like a donut (no center) I am drawn to the sand of my ocean.

 

Today I walked the shoreline, storing away the past year within my soul and letting in the New Year.

They merge quietly for me... unless I separate them consciously, like this time spent, they'd become one. Each deserves space of its own and time to give them clarity all their own.

2007 was a good year for me, (if I cross off Pirate Eye Snydrome:-). The gift of Carolyn's Coop becoming a reality, and my seeing it through 3 seasons, feels a blessing to me personally. I look forward to my coop in springtime and the year ahead for it and me.,,and Henny too :-)  And I look forward to all the "pretties" I will display and plant and having my hands dirty for hours on end.

Arnie celebrated yesterday his 58th birthday...a milestone is each birthday for my beloved...We take not one day for granted of his life and for yesterday I am of grateful heart. It is the first thank you I send to God as I walk today. I love you My Arnie. May your year ahead be one of "goodness" with enough health to enjoy our journey.

Inside of me... so many thoughts to bring to life on a new page of living. As I walk I sort and place them in order of importance... first to myself and family, then to my job, and then I let the unimportant less important fade into the background until I can bring them forward and to life...I don't let go, I only place them in waiting.

I search my feelings of endyness. I have time off from work now (we close until April), yet my wheels continue to go round in forward motion. I feel kinda empty without Stoneys as daily work pleasure. I feel a sense of loss and its hard to adjust to a new routine. Given I haven't yet set one in place I suppose is the reasoning of endyness I feel within. I collect those ends together and tie them tightly in an imaginary knot to hold them all close to me..I'll loosen one at a time and settle my being into a place it can be content. But there is much that gets planned in the winter to make it all happen and especially to make it happen greater than the past year. I seek to accomplish even more this year than last year and intend to use this time to set that into motion. Planning usually creates more satisfying results then spontaniety for me...Ok with one exception that comes to mind immediately (wink)/

As I walk I suddenly hear in my head Sarah singing "Ordinary Miracles", and I sing with her outloud, regardless there are surfers enjoying the winter waves. I spin around letting the wind carry me, like a child playing airplane as I sing...

The sky knows when it's time to snow
Don't need to teach a seed to grow
It's just another
Ordinary miracle today

Afterall if we can't be a child on God's carefully planned playground for all, where can we be?

Its chilly as I spin. the wind carresses my cheeks and makes my good eye tear, the sun is waning and the waves break closer together now and with more force than when I arrived...like life as you live your dreams..they start out small (well thats not true I always dream big to begin with), But at least like the waves my dreams begin far apart and they come together and suddenly your heart pounds when they begin to come real and bring you full circle to fulfillment.... or perhaps it is that you bring them to a feeling of success or accomplishment.

Life is like a gift, they say
Wrapped up for you everyday
Open up, and find a way
To give some of your own

My life is a gift to me and I hope I give some of my own to others. I stop to think about it and the wave that rolls in I think whispers to me, "you do!" I trace my friendships of the year drawing invisible hearts around the names of those that come to mind, who I count on without even realizing it  and who count on me without my actually being aware they do.

I tuck away the year that comes near to a close, tenderly and carefully wrapping its goodness, and forgiving its "not so goodness". I look ahead to what will be with a happy heart

So much out there to capture yet, so much within me to bring forth to blessing...

My/our walk/wheel of life isn't always an easy journey but I am only to aware that it is our journey and that makes it right and wonderful and something that is ours alone to hold onto and appreciate. I've grown taller this year, not physically but emotionally, even in my flat UGG boots. And as I look to the year ahead I have the feeling that this is MY NOW if I only follow through on whom I know God created me to be. There's more to me then what I have accomplished thus far in my years and ahead of me has purpose. My plans are many, and the only promise I make is to myself.

I leave my sand and my ocean behind me, making my way to the stairs to climb to higher ground..I leave 2007 now, heading into 2008 with hope and gladness in my heart for the year behind and the year ahead. And I leave you with Sarah's song..this verse imparticular....

When you wake up everyday
Please don't throw your dreams away
Hold them close to your heart
'Cause we are all a part

Of the ordinary miracle

Happy New Year to you. I wish you love and sight that has hope always in your view, and I wish you ordinary miracles everyday of your life. Recognize them and be grateful for them. And I wish you one precious NOT SO ORDINARY MIRACLE this coming year that allows your heart to sing as beautifully as the voice as Sarah.

It seems so exceptional
That things work out after all
It's just another
Ordinary miracle today   (I just winked but under my patch..opps now how could you see that?)

Happy New Year And "bless you real good" in 2008.

Love,

Carolyn

And so this is Christmas...

I struggled this year with my inner self of getting ready for Christmas (at home). It wouldn't be truthful to say it was all ho ho ho and jolly when it came to getting the tree done. I whined for days about it before finally stepping up (literally on a 6ft ladder) to just do it!  It wasn't I didn't have any spirit I just didn't have much left over when I got home in the evenings, though on the ride home my mind was going a hundred miles an hour of what I'd get accomplished this night...but, come in the door and the spirit stayed outside looking in...waiting waiting waiting for me to grab it and invite it to join me.

I'm still a one eyed monster wearing a pirates patch over my funky defective eyeball and its discouraging to live with this for so long now, after all it has been months now,  and although I tried my best not to show it ever, it wasn't easy for me being one eyed this glorious season in time. I will have surgery, hopefully this winter that lies before me so when "my pretties, (all the beautiful flowers and herbs we will sell at Stoney's this year) return, and when I return, I will have both eyes to enjoy them with...and all I can say is Amen to that and pray all goes well and I will again have two beautiful eyes to see with once I'm through it. I have an angel in my life that is helping me to be able to afford the surgery and I am humbled with gratitude to be cared for so deeply to be offered the help to see I am able to get this done.  Until that time I will continue to pray for a miracle that it just straightens itself out, gradually rolls back upwards, returning to the position an eye is meant to be in so one can see with both focusing together...the roads been a little too long to carry such a heavy package upon my soul.

Now back to Christmas... Its not straight. A liittle to the left, OPPS too much, back to the right just a tad, lean it a bit more forward, Ok that's good I think...ummm? well I think its backwards!!!...(water already in the antique stand it sits in, I sigh)...OH well...with a deep breath I find my muse and listen to "every tree is beautiful once its decorated." I know that and I push away that perfectionist that lives within me, crawling under my skin as irritating as shingles might be.

While she lays sleeping...I take ornaments from the box they lay in from year to year..tearing my heart out as I recall the years and how quickly by they go...and end...I miss you mom. My mother died just before Christmas 9 years ago so this is always a hard time of year for me remembering that morning she didn't wake for the sweet rolls I had baking for her breakfast (I've never made sweet rolls since that morning).

Emotions run in all directions, some tears, some smiles, some laughter, as I remember when and from where, or when from my own hands the collected ornaments have come...I hang them lovingly upon heavily pine scented boughs of Frazier Fir.

I even kiss this little mouse that has laid sleeping in this blue tip mouse box for 36 years

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   I tie bows of boring tan ribbon brought to life by a red and green thread that runs through it..the ribbon is me,  and my hands can make a bow with my eys closed by now after all the ribbons I have turned into bows for people this season. I stagger them within the tree (3 small ones like this one)

  and grace the bottom right with this antique ribbon of tan crinkled cotton,leaving the streamers hang on the floor in a pile...I'm beginning to enjoy decorating the tree now.

 

and so is Hannah (our sweet gentle big old fat cat) who decides the ribbon ends are for her to play with, (they were laying to the right side) as well as an ornament heart embroidered with a Santa Claus she takes off the tree to claim as a new possession to play with.

Pepper berries lay here and there as well as dried hydrangea from my garden shoved in where a hole is seen...and I hide a birdnest or two, maybe three, deep within the branches. I'm never far from mother nature and her gifts of the garden.

The mantel is dressed with "a few of my favorite things". I especially love holding and looking at the old mercury Christmas balls I hang off the front.

Pots from my collection take up residence at the other end. Lots of blue berried cedar lays on the mantle and I think of the ritual Lynn and I do togehter in goign to cut it at their farm on the Eastern Shore for our wreaths. Its always a fun day for me, a getaway to a beautiful place on this earth, and this year we stopped to see my/our friend Tami on our way back before crossing the 2 tunnel, 17 mile long bridge across the Chesapeake Bay. We walked her peach orchard and collected vacant bridnest (no they aren't nest that birds can return to, because come Jan the branches they were in must be cut when pruning the trees so they harvest again the wonderful abundance of their fussy filled with sweetness peaches. The birdnest you see here is one from the orchard and so is the one below that lays under the plant stand holding the sleeping angel (angel a gift that arrived for TG dinner this year, from my dear sister Mardy)

I take a few minutes to hold the three of these people in my heart, my sister Mardy, Tami, and Lynn.Each makes the world a nicer place.

 

On the center of the mantel sits two of my favorite urny pots. I intended to plant these with paperwhite but it didn;t happen in time and empty is good :-)

No more ornament hangers do I find in the box I am emptying and too tired to go look for wire to makeshift some, these last glass balls are held by my stone angel..I have the thought that angels do gather here in my soul and in my home. My mother would be happy I didn't let Christmas go by without having a tree, and I WILL find time to bake her brown edge wafer cookies and sprinkle them with colored sugar of the season. I just went to the kitchen and took out butter to come to room temp.

As a whole I've kept Christmas simplistic this year, as well as will be our gift giving to one another. The baby bird is home from college, both my sons are here, and my dear brother who I adore, Arnie is still with  us and what more joy can Christmas be then for us all to be together?

I am surrounded by those I love and by things I love ......

 

like this snowangel made of cotton batting and embroidered with a tree...Imade him several years ago and he makes me smile when I pull him out to sit him somewhere there isi hole between branches in the tree.

And before I turn out the lights to go to bed, I read the sign I hung under the eave of the mantel on the fireplace (hung to add a little whimsy to this day)...

"It's a wonderful life." Yes it is and I have much to rejoice about as Christmas Day comes to one and all. Most of all I am blessed to have someone in my life who loves me faults and all.

I wish you all who come here to read my words, a Merry Christmas and a healthy Happy New Year. Much too look forward too in the blogging world with Corey's house featured in Victoria, I'm happy for you Corey...I'm thinking of Anna "nature girl" and her broken ankle and wishing her healing and I've hung a glittered pomegrante on my tree with thoughts of Mrs and Mr. Pom too. I've been to see Carols Christmas in Germany, and dear Fran sitting in Turkey on her Christmas card, not so ordinary but so scared, and Deb Torby and family as they celebrate this Chirstmas with a precious baby girl adopted in China, the second for her son and daughter in law (what a loving generous family they are!), and what would I do without Merryville to visit too  ....  and I could go on and on (links can be found to these sites on my sidebar) BUT, tis time to say  goonight, God Bless Us Everyone with love and Peace and Earth.