I'm sad as I sit to write tonight.
Today is my mothers birthday. It has been many years now I have been without her but I still miss her everyday. Everytime I walked by the watermelons on the wagon today I felt like I wanted to cry. That well in my heart that holds all the love my mother gave to me ALL her life was overflowing with memories that needed release and so I felt overwhelmed to tears most of my day. As a little girl all my mother ever asked for on her birthday was a watermelon, and its what she got. Until her death I always bought her a watermelon and tied a ribbon around it with a big bow as one of her presents. After her death I always bought myself a watermelon on this day Decemeber 25th and ate it in her honor..not today.
My brother left for a short trip this morning to go back to his house and check on things. He will return in only a few days but it's always hard for me when I hug him on his way, and I miss him when he is gone. Close in age only 13 months between us we grew up much like twins (both went to kindergaren the same year) and in all our years I can never remember having a fight with my brother or us not speaking to one another. He was the first to be there for me when Arnie had his misfortune of paralysis and he remains by my side to help me see through and get through the toughest times as they come and thankfully go, and while i hold my breath and pray they don't return. I love you brother Bobby.
Just the other day as we sat here, doing this..(BTW I promise you my apron is clean when I start each day!)
Bobby laughed and said to me, "Whoever thought that at near 60 we would be sitting together on a farm bench bottle feeding two little baby farm animals?"
My thought that minute was that it would make my mother happy to know this as her hope was that her children would always be close, support one another in life's ups and be there for each other through the downs, loving one another without sibling conflict ever getting in the way of family and celebrate the gift it is to have a brother or a sister. It's why I asked a co worker to take this picture so I could blog that thought. Little did I know yesterday how special these pictures would be today.
Meriweather as I have written about before is just over three months and thriving so well. (wait until I show you pictures of her at the second birthday party she has gone to at age 3 months. Lynn made her n adorable party hat to wear to the birthday celebration and Merriweather loved it and left it on her head the whole time! What a kid! (pun intended)
Dewey is the lamb that Bobby holds in the above picture Dewey came to us 2 months ago. One of triplets, the largest born weighing in at 9 lbs 6 oz, and a mama sheep generally will only care for two, so she came to us to be her mama, bottle feed her as often as she would have nursed from her mother if she was one of twins not triplets.
Bobby became fond of adorable Dewey and Dewey of him. Ya think? He didn't know I took this picture when I snapped it.
Sadly, Dewey died today. My heart aches as I say those words aloud and think them over and over again in my head tonight. Late this afternoon he became bloated and although Lynn called the vet immdeiate and she and Billy transported him immediately for care Dewey did not make it to come home to us and his friends on the farm. An autopsy showed a birth defect of his intestine being wrapped around his stomach which caused a blockage, Nothing we would have known or could have done about is what they said as words of comfort. I had the hard task of calling my brother to tell him our dear Dewey was gone.
Life sometimes just doesn't seem fair. It wasn't fair to Dewey to take him so soon.
with his little friend Merriweather whom he hung out with. It reminds me of how he walked into our life and brought us all JOY. In the short time he was here he reminded us that we are all dependant on one another for survival in this world. The greratest of happiness often comes in the little things of life, like sitting on a farm bench with a brother sharing a moment. This picture, with him in the lead walking, also reminds me of how quickly and how suddenly he walked out of our life and into the arms of grace. I miss you baby Dewey. I can't imagine what the morning will be like without you greeting me as I arrive at work tomorrow. I'm so sorry Dewey that you didn't get grow up and experience more of what your life would be...the only peace i can find in any of this is that you were loved and cared for and cherished in the short time we were blessed to have you. Rest in Peace Our Dear Baby Dewey.
(Dewey will be buried on the farm where he was born and we will plant a tree near his grave ....may it grow to full glory as baby Dewey wasn't given time to do.)